Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! I hope you all have some bubbly chilling and your shiny resolutions on delay because this is the last day of the holiday season when calories and alcohol percentages don’t count. So, whoop it up and deal with the consequences tomorrow. I swear it won’t be that bad and even if it is these Chipotle Baked Eggs with Black Beans will make it all better. Well, most of it. Baked eggs are shit at removing tattoos, so adorn with discretion.
My chances of contracting an ill-fated tattoo are fairly slim because I am no fun. Yes, I am not setting a toe outside this evening and I am VERY comfortable with my stick-in-the-muddishness. I was always terrible at New Years. When I was young, I had high hopes for the holiday. I would buy sequenced mini dresses and revel in all my party invitations. But every year I would come to the same crushing realizations. 1. Sequenced mini-dresses are not practically January attire and 2. double-booking yourself is a frustration dream come true.
There’s just too much anticipation around the start of a New Year. You have to find the perfect outfit, you have to buy the right bottle of bubbly, and you have to find a (willing) person to kiss at midnight. That’s not a fun night out, that’s a coordinated attack. So, after skidding into a slush puddle in a wildly impractical little black dress three years ago, I retired from New Years. Now, my boyfriend and I make Chinese food at home in our pajamas and pinch each other to stay awake until midnight. It may sound sad, but I’ve got to say, my feet have never been warmer.
Anyway, for those of you who are donning your best metallics and heading out into the cold, these Chipotle Baked Eggs will be your salvation. The fact of the matter is you’re going to be drinking and if you’re north of 21, you’re going to feel it. And when I’m nursing a horrendous hangover, I think a spicy breakfast is best. I also support the whole hair-of-the-dog mentality. So, a spicy brunch of Chipolte Baked Eggs paired with a breakfast beer may just save your life.
Now, I live in a spice-loving household, so I definitely did not hold back. I used an entire can of chipotle peppers in the sauce and it was truly hot. My boyfriend was in heaven, I was on the edge of hell but I enjoyed it… Not entirely sure what that says about me. But anyway, you don’t have to add the entire can. You could add half or only 2 or 3 peppers. You do you.
The best part about these Chipotle Baked Eggs is they are such a snap to prepare that even the most monstrously hungover person can make them. And you only dirty one dish because, let’s face it, you won’t be able to stand long enough to wash a sink full of dishes. Even if you have a dishwasher, you’ll probably be lacking the spatial acuity required to fill it. So, let’s leave it at one pot and you can pretend it needs a good soak.
Do these Chipotle Baked Eggs still look too ambitious? Make the sauce tonight before you get, well, sauced and then heat it up in the pan the next morning. Feeling the weight of all your poor decisions will feel a lot less burdensome without all that chopping. Also, knives? Not the best choice if you find yourself still drunk at 11 AM.
Now, since I’ve made light of binge drinking throughout the entirety of this post, I should probably close by saying, please drink responsibly. And if you don’t wanna, might I suggest staying at home with some dumplings?
Happy New Years everyone!
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 shallots, minced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon Mexican oregano
- 1 can black bean, drained and rinsed
- 1 can chipotle peppers in Adobo, pureed
- 1 can crushed tomatoes
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon demerara sugar
- Juice of 1 lime
- 1 large eggs
- 2 jalapeños, thinly sliced
- 1/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled
- 1 handful fresh cilantro, coarsely chopped
- 8 corn tortillas, warmed
- In a large skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat until shimmering. Add the shallots and garlic and sauté until slightly softened. Stir in the cumin and oregano and sauté for 2 minutes more or until fragrant.
- Add the black beans to the pan and sauté until warmed through, about 3 minutes. Stir in the chipotle peppers, tomatoes, salt and sugar, and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer and let cook for 10 minutes.
- Stir the lime juice into the sauce and, using the back of a spoon, make four indents in the sauce. Crack the eggs into the indents and simmer until the whites begin to set. Remove the pan from the heat and place under the broiler. Broil the eggs until the whites are set but the yolks are runny, about 3-5 minutes.
- Top the eggs with jalapeño slices, feta cheese and cilantro. Serve immediately with warm corn tortillas and breakfast beer.